How you gon' WIN when you aint right within?

“I feel like I’ve lost myself…I’ve become too wrapped up in someone else’s life”. Raise your hand if you’ve experienced this feeling before. (Both hands in the air). You meet someone, they’re perfect, and the friendship evolves into that relationship that only Heaven could provide. You start to neglect your dreams, your day revolves around what your partner has going on, and every sentence begins with “*insert name of significant other here* said this that and the third…” Then months, sometimes years later, you wake up and say, “Who the hell am I?” And there it is, a moment of epiphany.

They say women have an intuition but everyone does. You know when something’s not right. You aint stupid. You can feel it and you start to form your behavior around that feeling, whether you know it or not. You become grouchy, lashing out at people around you, start pulling away, and picking up new or old bad habits. Those in your circle notice that something is going on with you. My question is, how long will it take you to have the courage to realize that you’ve lost yourself and do what it takes to reclaim your life?

When your spirit isn’t right and you’re unhappy, it affects everyone around and everything around you. You can’t give love, work, or enjoy life properly when you are having internal battles with yourself. A great story teller by the name of Ms. Lauryn Hill said it best, “how you gon win when you aint right within?” How can we expect to excel at work, with our kids, our jobs, and a relationship if we’re too scared to deal with our internal feelings? We’d rather walk around unhappy, unsatisfied, and unfulfilled than to take some time and figure out where we lost our way. I’ve been through this situation and also witnessed friends go through it. Please understand that this process is very uncomfortable and you may lose some people along the way. When I finally said I needed time for myself by myself, I ended up losing a best friend and an entire network that I had been accustomed to. I was hurt, confused, and doubted myself. I didn’t know the PEACE and JOY that waited for me on the other side! I watched friends go through similar situations and thought to myself, “are you crazy for walking away?” But in the end, they’ve always came out of it, in PEACE with themselves.

Again, most of the time, we know when there’s a problem going on inside of us. But what’s stopping you from solving it? I think the most common reason is that we’re afraid of what how others may feel or think. Let me tell you that you are NOT responsible for the happiness of others! You are not being selfish for doing what you need to do in order to live your BEST LIFE. We cannot continue to suffer inside because of other folks’ feelings or what so and so over there will say. If they truly love and support you, they will be there with you when you get back to your happy state. I’m telling you, your family, your spouse, your career and etc will reap the benefits of YOU becoming a BETTER YOU! There’s no manual to tell you how to do it. Most of us know what needs to be done but we don’t like being unstable, without love, and being judged. We can’t worry about what others think or say about us any longer. One of my favorite quotes is from Russell Simmons: “You cannot find it anywhere because it is located inside of you”. The world did not give it to you and the world cannot take it away. Take the time and find your joy and inner peace. What you may potentially lose, will be given back to you in ways you never expected.

-grannyBee